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Monday, December 17, 2012

Struggling

I've been trying to remain very positive whilst treating this injury, but the past weekend broke my spirit a little.

I was entered into Canberra 70.3 - my first half Ironman. Obviously I didn't race.

Even though the focus isn't on triathlon any more (after deciding not to do Ironman next year and to focus on running the best marathon I can), I was still pretty excited about giving the half Ironman a shot. My bike leg wouldn't have been great but I was confident of having a strong run leg given my recent form.

Sunday was also SMC - a series I love and I've done quite well at over the past few years. I missed that too.

I avoided social media because I just didn't want to hear about everyone's race adventures (or mis-adventures). The problem with having lots of athlete friends is that it's hard to avoid talk of training and racing.

I haven't run in 15 days, and I haven't done anything of quality for more than three weeks. I have been poked and prodded and pulled and pushed in all sorts of ways. I'm sick of it now. I feel completely lost - generally my life is guided by routine (it's the only way I can fit everything in) and now I'm left floating without a real sense of direction. I hate that I don't feel like I've achieved anything at the end of the day. I'm bored. I'm frustrated.

Some of the things I've been doing to try and fix this stupid injury include:
massage, physio and physio rehab exercises, hamstring strengthening exercises, chiropractor, Active Release Technique (ART), yoga (for the mind as much as the body).

I've been swimming and riding to keep my fitness up, as well as doing general weight work to increase my upper body and core strength. Every day I think about how all the gains I've made since August are just slipping away. Canberra Marathon is in 16 weeks. I wanted to run sub-2:50. I've got to get this thing fixed so I can get into quality training, otherwise that time is not going to happen.

I'm seeing the physio after work tomorrow and I'm really hoping he says there's been some improvement.

I know that in the big scheme of things my injury troubles hardly rate a mention - there are so many people in the world with real problems and disasters and heartbreak. I acknowledge that - I really do - but personally, keeping in mind my dreams and lifestyle, this is really, really difficult for me.

I'm struggling.

3 comments:

  1. Johanna - I feel the same pain you do - both physically and emotionally. I have been struggling with HHT since April 2012. Have tried massage, PRP injections, strengthening exercises - all with mixed success and only a slow decrease in the pain from exercise (especially when sitting afterwards). I didn't stop running completely until September and still have not started again (physical therapist says maybe in March). I went from running 80 miles a week to zero - which was the same shock to the system that it sounds like you are in the midst of. I really hope you have found something to replace running in your life. Please continue to post and don't give up! Remember that with this injury, any improvement is a gain (no matter how small).

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  2. I have had this pain since last September. 3 marathons and a half later I decided to go to the doctor even though I knew what it was already from doing my research. I saw her today - wants me to do PT. . . wouldn't order an MRI or refer me to ortho or sports med until I have failed at PT. I already do all of the exercises they will have me do. My PCP had no idea what was wrong. . . I had to show her my research and explain it to her. As of 1100 today I will try to quit running. . . I have not missed more than 2 days of running in a row since I was in 8th grade. . . I'll be 38 on Sunday. I'm sick to my stomach just thinking about not being able to get up in the morning to run. I have read that there should be no activity whatsoever. . . biking, swimming, running etc until the person is able to perform certain exercises without pain. Do you have pain during biking or swimming or does it increase afterwards?? I have do something although running is really the only activity that works well with my work schedule. I'm a nurse and work 12 hour shifts. . .4-5 per week. Gym doesn't open early enough to swim and it's too dark to bike before work, but maybe if it doesn't hurt you I could try it and go afterwards. I am so frustrated. . . I have already registered for Philly 2013 and was hoping to run 3:05. Please help. Jenn

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    Replies
    1. Hi Jenn, I just sent you a reply via email - if it doesn't reach you let me know. johp.mal@gmail.com

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