Some days it all just seems so hard.
I feel like I'm trying to climb backwards up a waterfall.
Ironically, now I am almost on top of this injury I am feeling completely hopeless. It's like the past five months (yes FIVE awful months) it's taken to get me to this point were only the preliminaries. The real hard stuff starts now, when I have to come to terms with just how slow I have become; when the end goal is now so far away I can't even see it anymore.
Last year I was finally starting to feel confident in myself as a runner. Now I am struggling to see anything beyond these terribly slow runs that appear to be taking me nowhere.
Ironman Australia was yesterday. Ouch. Twelve months ago I had such different plans - I had entered to race Ironman and I was excitedly freaking out about it. Then, when my running started to make progress again, I made the decision to withdraw from Ironman so I could focus on some key road races in the first part of this year and really do well in them. To be honest, the decision wasn't really that difficult - running will always be my first love and I truly believed if I worked hard I could do well.
As it turned out - I didn't do any of it. Nada, nothing, zip. Instead, I've spent five months trying to rehabilitate two stupid hamstring tendons, always knowing there would be a chance they were blown for good.
Can you tell it was a bit of a tough weekend? Not only was Ironman yesterday, the state road 10k championships were on Saturday too. And I was... nowhere near either of them.
I have really tried to keep up the positive rhetoric as I've been treating this tendinopathy, but some days it just all seems too hard to believe. When I'm out running and only hitting a pace that's slower than my previous recovery-run pace, it's difficult to see how on earth a sub-2:50 marathon is on the way.
As George Michael said - you gotta have Faith. He said a lot of other things, but they are best ignored. I know with your grit and determination you will get there Joh. Hopefully I'll be on the sidelines somewhere cheering you on as you go.
ReplyDeleteThanks my dear. George Michael also said something about not leaving him hanging on like a yo-yo, but your quote is probably more apt at this point in time. xxx
Deletehang in there....you will get there and you will get that sub 2.50 marathon time.....it will just take a bit of time, a small detour from your original plan. I know how you feel as I'm in the same boat and like you have my good days and my bad days with this. But i have to believe that it will better, it will just take time. Stay positive you will get there
ReplyDeleteThanks - all the best with your recovery too.
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