Struggling

I've been trying to remain very positive whilst treating this injury, but the past weekend broke my spirit a little.

I was entered into Canberra 70.3 - my first half Ironman. Obviously I didn't race.

Even though the focus isn't on triathlon any more (after deciding not to do Ironman next year and to focus on running the best marathon I can), I was still pretty excited about giving the half Ironman a shot. My bike leg wouldn't have been great but I was confident of having a strong run leg given my recent form.

Sunday was also SMC - a series I love and I've done quite well at over the past few years. I missed that too.

I avoided social media because I just didn't want to hear about everyone's race adventures (or mis-adventures). The problem with having lots of athlete friends is that it's hard to avoid talk of training and racing.

I haven't run in 15 days, and I haven't done anything of quality for more than three weeks. I have been poked and prodded and pulled and pushed in all sorts of ways. I'm sick of it now. I feel completely lost - generally my life is guided by routine (it's the only way I can fit everything in) and now I'm left floating without a real sense of direction. I hate that I don't feel like I've achieved anything at the end of the day. I'm bored. I'm frustrated.

Some of the things I've been doing to try and fix this stupid injury include:
massage, physio and physio rehab exercises, hamstring strengthening exercises, chiropractor, Active Release Technique (ART), yoga (for the mind as much as the body).

I've been swimming and riding to keep my fitness up, as well as doing general weight work to increase my upper body and core strength. Every day I think about how all the gains I've made since August are just slipping away. Canberra Marathon is in 16 weeks. I wanted to run sub-2:50. I've got to get this thing fixed so I can get into quality training, otherwise that time is not going to happen.

I'm seeing the physio after work tomorrow and I'm really hoping he says there's been some improvement.

I know that in the big scheme of things my injury troubles hardly rate a mention - there are so many people in the world with real problems and disasters and heartbreak. I acknowledge that - I really do - but personally, keeping in mind my dreams and lifestyle, this is really, really difficult for me.

I'm struggling.